Tuesday, March 30, 2010


When I began to delve deaper into my faith, I was very eager to learn everything I could about this wonderful Church which was handed to us by Jesus himself. How amazing is that? And the more I learned, the more I fell head over heels in love. I was blind for so long and now my eyes and ears were opened to the truth. I have been truly blessed to have so many good and faithful Catholic friends who have taught me, led me and helped me in so many ways.

As I am beginning to learn what the Church teaches on faith and morals, I'm finding out that not everyone who is Catholic is interested in following what the church teaches. I'm not really too surprised to learn that there are Cafeteria Catholics. I understand the influences of liberalism, modernism and secular society among other things. But it's really kind of interesting to realize that many Catholics wouldn't dream of stealing or committing civil crimes. They are afraid of going to jail. But those same people don't hesitate to commit mortal sin and the punishment for that is far worse.

Even after realizing that many Catholics aren't as faithful to the Church as they should be, I was not prepared for what I was about to learn next. I was shocked when I learned that many of our clergy; our priests, deacons and even bishops; our nuns, Catholic teachers, seminary and Catholic university professors, are not following all that the Church teaches. This seems like a no-brainer to me. Of anyone in the entire church, our leaders, our shephards should shine with reverance to Holy Mother Church. There should be no question that they would follow the Magisterium, the Catechism, Canon Law, the GIRM, The Rubrics, Rome. And why aren't they made to behave? When I was a child, I obeyed my mother or I was punished. I didn't always like the rules but they were her rules and I had no choice.

I remember the first time I heard dissent with my own ears. I was completely blindsided. Did I really hear what I think I just heard? I went home and I cried. I asked God to please help me understand. I didn't know what to do. For the first time I wondered if I was learning too much. Do I really want to know all that the Church teaches? I was afraid that knowing what I did would destroy the love I have for my Faith. Time has passed and I've unfortunately witnessed, heard and read about way more dissention in our Church than I ever imagined. It no longer shocks me but it continues to sadden me. But I am standing strong in my Faith. I'm staying the course. I'm not about to become discouraged. This is so incredibly difficult. I know that God is revealing all of this to me for a reason. Maybe someday I will understand. For now all I can do is continue to pray.

Monday, March 15, 2010


Four years ago when my husband began RCIA classes, I knew I needed to go with him. I had been away from church a long time. It didn't take long for me to become hooked on learning everything I could about the Catholic Faith. I was amazed at what I didn't know and I fell head over heels in love with this One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. I began to crave all things Catholic. I spent a lot of time looking things up online and reading everything I could get my hands on.

As my eyes were opened to what the Church teaches and expects, it became clear that I had to make an important choice. The more I learned, the more I realized that many Catholics do not follow all of what the church teaches. They pick and choose what Doctrines and Dogmas they want to follow and disregard the rest. I knew that I couldn't possibly be that kind of person. That was the life I was leaving behind. I was always a good person, believed in God and lived the Golden Rule. I knew what the Ten Commandments were but I only followed the ones I wanted. I was living according to my own moral compass and not God's.

But now things were changing. I was coming back to my Faith. I was committed to teaching my children about God and raising them as good Catholics. My husband was joining the Catholic church. If I was going to do this, I wasn't going to do it half-way. It was time for me to trust God. Nobody ever said it would be easy. I began to understand that being obedient to the church was not optional. Even if I disagree with something or don't understand it, I must follow ALL that the church commands on Faith and Morals.

Obedience is a Moral Virtue. A Moral Virtue is "A good habit of the will whose immediate object is one of the means by which our final destiny is attained". (Modern Catholic Dictionary by John A. Hardon, S.J.). This is KEY for me and the basis of which brought me back to my faith. I had to ask myself an important question. Where is it that I hope to "end up" some day? Or by the definition above, where would I like my final destiny to be? Of course the only answer is Heaven. And after I understood where I wanted to go, I had to ask myself how I was going to get there. It was crystal clear to me that the Catholic Church would lead me to Heaven through the Grace of Jesus Christ. All I had to do was listen. All I had to do was obey. It isn't for me to decide what is right and wrong. God has already given that to me. God also gave me free will, but not to disobey him. In order to truly Love God with all my heart and all my mind and all my soul, I must without hesitation surrender my free will to Him who created me.

"Then he (Moses) took the book of the covenant, and read it in the hearing of the people; and they said, "All that the LORD has spoken we will do, and we will be obedient." Ex 24:7

"Do you not know that if you yield yourselves to any one as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed," Rom 6:16-17

"And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross." Phil 2:8

"Although he was a Son, he learned obedience through what he suffered;" Heb 5:8

"As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance." 1Pet 1:14